Maternity Robes
by AlMiGhTy AuThOrEsS
Summary: What happens when Voldemort's newest curse makes males *pregnant*? Mayhem at Hogwarts, that's what! I know people are grossed out by male pregnancy, but please give this a chance!! **CHAPTER 3 NOW UP!**
1. We're WHAT?!?!

Maternity Robes  
  
AN: I came up with the idea for this a while ago, but my busy mind never had time to elaborate on it. But, I was hit with a   
cold and I started thinking about this little plot bunny. I'm starting to think that germs give you creative inspiration.   
^-^  
  
~*~  
  
It was a regular day at Hogwarts, all the students were eating breakfast and chatting about their classes when the mail   
came.  
  
How suddenly this day would change just because of the mail.  
  
A now 7th year Hermione Granger picked up her copy of the Daily Prophet and began to read it while munching on her cereal.  
  
That was before she dropped her spoon in shock from what was on the front page.  
  
"What is it Hermione? Did house elves declare independence?" Ron asked sarcastically.  
  
"Ron, look at this. Maybe you too Harry.........." Hermione said in a rather shaky voice.  
  
Both boys mouths dropped open in horror as they read the headline:  
  
"You-know-who places curse - men are pregnant!"  
  
"Yes ladies, and especially gentlemen, it has been confirmed. The curse that had been testified by You-Know-Who's former   
Death Eater, Nott, was confirmed to have been making men pregnant.  
  
Several men admitted into a nearby hospital in Hogsmeade were given all sorts of tests and scans, but nothing appeared   
wrong with them. Later on, urine tests determined that each man was indeed - pregnant.  
  
Medical wizards believe that the curse was placed on January 17th, so any man who believes he was having intercourse on   
January 17th should seek medical attention and have tests done immediately."  
  
Ron and Harry immediately started racking their brains for what they were doing on January 17th. Hermione bit her lip.  
  
Suddenly, Harry started crying hysterically.  
  
"Harry, aren't you the good little virgin hero?" Hermione asked.  
  
"It was Gin-Ginny! She pressured-ed me! I thought I did-didn't have a choice........." Harry said between sobs.  
  
Ron was still in shock at this point and didn't realize that Harry was talking about his little sister.  
  
Draco, who had obviously heard the news, turned as white as the milk in his cereal and proceeded to run out of the Great   
Hall with one hand clamped over his mouth, fighting back the urge to vomit.  
  
Fred and George seemed to be going into hysterics - they were being serious for once.  
  
Snape on the other hand, began to sweat, looking around nervously, hoping that no-one would suspect that he of all people, was pregnant.  
  
Dumbledore stood up and proceeded to speak:  
  
"Any male who believes he is pregnant, please report to my office immediately".  
  
~*~  
  
6 anxious males stood at the stone gargoyle, waiting for Dumbledore: Harry, Ron, Draco, Fred, George and Snape.  
  
A swishing of heavy robes indicated that Dumbledore was approaching his office with a rather amused smile on his face as he   
walked past the 6 and said the password:  
  
"Sugar Quill"  
  
From there, the 7 males went up the sweeping, revolving staircase and through the great oak doors and into Dumbledore's   
circular office. Dumbledore, siting in a winged armchair behind an oak desk, began to speak.  
  
"Well gentlemen, it seems we have quite a fix here. You all, seemingly lost your virginity on a very unlucky night, no   
matter how lucky you got. Now, we don't know for sure if you are all pregnant, so we will need to take a urine sample for   
Madam Pomfrey to examine for pregnancy." Dumbledore said with a hint of an amused tone.  
  
Draco raised his hand.  
  
"Yes Mister Malfoy?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Would taking a urine sample involve - peeing in a cup?" Draco asked with a bit of queasiness.  
  
"Yes, Mister Malfoy, it does. Is this a problem?"  
  
"Er - no. Do you have a bathroom I can use?"  
  
"Right through those doors"  
  
With that, Draco ran at top speed to the bathroom to vomit what was left of his breakfast.  
  
"Well, I'll go over a few procedures. Let's assume that you are all pregnant for a moment. You will be housing together in a   
separate dorm to the left of the astronomy tower, the house elves will bring your belongings there, you will go to classes   
but then return to your private dorm, you will all eat together at a separate table in the great hall, and aside from   
bringing a new life into the world, you will all learn to get along and tolerate eath other."   
  
The jaws of the five males that weren't throwing up dropped to the floor. Draco continued to vomit.  
  
"We have to live together??" Harry repeated in astonishment.  
  
"Yes. It's high time that you all learned to treat each other civilly. This is the perfect occasion to teach you all how to   
respect your fellow man." Said Dumbledore.  
  
Madam Pomfrey came through the door a few seconds later - cutting off George - and carrying a tray of small plastic cups   
with lids.  
  
"Ah! Madam Pomfrey m'dear. Would you be so kind as to direct these gentlemen in the restroom for their urine tests? It   
appears that young Mr. Malfoy is already there." Dumbledore said in a cheery tone.  
  
"Of course, Dumbledore. You lads, follow me to the washroom." Pomfrey directed sternly.  
  
The four males groaned and followed Madam Pomfrey.  
  
~*~  
  
"Well gentlemen, we have the results of your tests." Dumbledore told the six anxious males.  
  
"Well, what's the........verdict?!" Fred asked impatiently.  
  
"You're all pregnant." Dumbledore said with a smile.  
  
All of the men's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. Oh, and that noise? It was Ron fainting.  
  
"This is so the beginning of Hell......" Harry mumbled.  
  
"What am I going to do? I can't be stuck with these twits for 9 months......" Snape groaned.  
  
"Great. No more prank pulling for 9 months......" Fred mused.  
  
"Great. We have to be civil to those Slytherin idiots for 9 months......." George moaned.  
  
"I gotta puke........" Draco muttered.  
  
Ron lay unconscious on the floor. Harry was right. This was so the beginning of hell.........  
  
~*~  
  
AN: So, what d'ya think?! I *love* reviews! *hint hint* Suggestions for future chapters are always welcome, but I've got a   
few ideas up my sleeve. Tell me what you think! 


	2. Adventures in Clothes Swapping

Maternity Robes  
  
AN: YAY! Seven reviews on the first chapter, that must be some kind of record for me!  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers:  
  
EvilFaerieChick - Yeah, I've read that story, 'Nine Months Of Trouble' by Isolde13. I think that's the one your talking about. Hmmm....you'll find out in this chapter (possibly) who are the mothers! (Or fathers.....)  
  
Cobaltblue Kitty - Yep, all six of 'em! More entertaining this way.....  
  
MysticDragonstar - Yep, this is one fic I'm sure I'll complete, just because it's so fun to write! *evil smile* You'll find out in this chapter (possibly) who are the mothers! (Or fathers.....)  
  
Headbanger62 - After nine months, I'm probably leaning towards C-Section. But I dunno, I read an *NSYNC one where the babies came out the 'normal' way..........  
  
Alchemine - Ohhhh......morning-sickness! More torture for those poor little boys! You'll find out in this chapter (possibly) who are the mothers! (Or fathers.....)  
  
Rai - Thank you! I love writing (and reading) humour. I'm writing as fast as I can, but with school it's kind of hard.  
  
fairygirl - Yepers, revenge will be sweet!  
  
Ok, I don't know if this chapter will have who the mothers/fathers(??) are yet. Maybe I'll keep you hanging until next chapter.....*evil smile*  
  
~*~  
  
*The next morning Draco was the first up in their new dorm......*  
  
"Eugh........I think I'm gonna hurl....." Draco groaned and then head at top speed to the bathroom.  
  
After a few minutes......  
  
"Guyyyys....?" Draco whined. "Can somebody come and hold my hair??"  
  
"S'too early, shut up Malfoy....." Ron said thickly, half asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
*Later that morning, after everyone was awake.....*  
  
"Ron, where are my shoes?!" Harry asked irritably.  
  
"I don't know where your bloody shoes are, I'm busy looking for my tie!" Ron snapped.  
  
"Where's my hairbrush??" Fred whined.  
  
"Oh, do be quiet Fred, it's not like you use your brush anyway." George replied  
  
Fred thought about this for a second, then shrugged off any thoughts of his hairbrush.  
  
"Professor, where are our belongings?" Draco asked Snape.  
  
"How should I know? Those rotten house-elves must have lost them." Snape retorted.  
  
"You don't need to be mean......" Harry said, lip quivering.  
  
"Oi Potter, you don't need to be such a baby." Draco said to Harry.  
  
"You people are so mean!" Harry said as he ran off to the bathroom in tears.  
  
"Jesus......." Ron said .  
  
"I guess we're going to have to make do with the belongings that we have for now guys...." George said softly.  
  
"Harry!" Fred called as he banged on the door. "We need to borrow some stuff from you!"  
  
~*~  
  
After about a half hour, the six males appeared in the Great Hall looking like their closet exploded on them.  
  
Harry was wearing Draco's shoes, which were 2 sizes too big for him. Ron appeared to have tied a hankerchif to his shirt in hopes that it would work as a tie. Snape was wearing Harry's old shirt underneath his robes, which left an inch of his wrist showing. Fred's hair looked like he had just walked through a tornado. George was wearing Harry's old yellow socks from Uncle Vernon, which, added to giving off a horrible stench, drooped every five seconds. Draco was wearing Ron's old pants underneath his robe, which left about an inch of his ankle showing to the entire hall.  
  
As they made their way over to their private table, they were accompanied by muffled sniggers and points from the other students.  
  
"Great, just great. I'm wearing Weasley's pants. I have descended lower than low." Draco mused.  
  
Ron gave him a glare of death.  
  
"You guys, you shouldn't be so negative. At least you're not walking around the Hall naked." George said calmly.  
  
"I think that would have been better......." Draco replied.  
  
"Jeez Malfoy, what an exhibitionist. Guess that explains why you're pregnant." Ron retorted.  
  
"I'd shut up if I were you, because you seem to be pregnant too Weasley." Draco said coldly.  
  
Ron didn't appear to have a comeback. He simply glared at Draco.  
  
As they sat munching on their breakfast, Dumbledore approached their table with a smile.  
  
"Well boys! How was your first night together?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully.  
  
"Hell" Draco replied simply.  
  
"And why is that, Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Simply because I was with them." Draco replied cooly.  
  
"Well, maybe you won't be so cocky after this afternoon, Mr. Malfoy, because you all have your first check-up today!" Dumbledore said, amused by the looks on the boy's faces.  
  
~*~  
  
"This is so embarrassing....." Draco grumbled, laying down wearing a little pink hospital gown.  
  
Ron looked at Draco, and then burst out laughing.  
  
"What, pray tell, is so funny Weasley?" Draco asked coldly.  
  
"Just the sight - of you Malfoy - in a little pink gown!" Ron managed before he was hit with another wave of laughter.  
  
Draco grumbled and returned to the magazine he was reading - 'Modern Mom Magazine'.  
  
With that, Madam Pomfrey came bustling through the door to the private part of the hospital wing.  
  
"Well boys, time to check out how you're doing. Does anyone have any questions up until now?" Madam Pomfrey said, clearly in a rush.  
  
Draco raised a tentive hand in the air.  
  
"Yes Mr. Malfoy?" Madam Pomfrey asked.  
  
"Er - when does the morning sickness end??" Draco asked sheepishly.  
  
Madam Pomfrey started to laugh uncontrollably. The boys looked at her with confusion.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy - the morning sickness doesn't end until around the 8th month of pregnancy!" Madam Pomfrey said after she had caught her breath.  
  
Draco looked like he was going to cry, right then and there.  
  
"Alright everyone, let's cut to the chase, pelvic exams. If you would all put your legs into these straddles at the end of your beds....." Madam Pomfrey said, holding in a laugh as the boys groaned and put their legs into the embarrassing straddles.  
  
"*Why* do we have to do this all together??" Snape asked with venom.  
  
"Special orders from Dumbledore. He wants you all to 'experience the joys of pregnancy together'" Madam Pomfrey answered.  
  
"I don't know where that guy gets his drugs......" Draco muttered.  
  
"Now, due to the fact that we haven't had a pregnancy in several hundred years - let alone a *male* pregnancy, so the medical tools will be a little, *rustic*" Madam Pomfrey said tentively.  
  
After saying this, she whipped out an evil looking silver instrument with several odd things hanging off of it.  
  
"*What* are you going to do with *that*?" Fred asked.  
  
"Well Mr Weasley, it is inserted into your......." Madam Pomfrey trailed off quietly.  
  
All the boys' eyes went as wide as they possibly could.  
  
"Mr. Potter, why don't we start with you...." Madam Pomfrey said while heading toward Harry.  
  
"One question, is that thing - cold?" Harry asked tentively.  
  
"Er - yes Mr. Potter. Now breathe and think warm thoughts........." Madam Pomfrey replied.  
  
~*~  
  
AN: Ok, no I'm waiting for another plot bunny for this fic to bite me. Maybe you all have some suggestions for future chapters? I *do * have the climax of the story all planned out, and not, the climax is not the birth, believe it or not. Let's see who can guess what it is...........Anyway, review! Pretty please!? 


	3. The shopping trip.....

Maternity Robes  
  
AN: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I went on an unannounced hitius. But I'm back and ready to go with chapter 3!  
  
24 reviews?! *falls over* That is a lot to me. If that's just what I get for the first 2 chapters.....  
  
Ok, now, answers to reviews:  
  
EvilFaerieChick: Thanks, I'm waiting for a good plot for them to tell who the mothers are. It will be better than them sitting around and saying who got them pregnant.  
  
Cobaltblue Kitty: LOL! The visuals are very vivid, that's for sure. And I will keep going, it just takes a little to get my but in gear ;).  
  
Kat: Thanks! Like I said, I will keep going, I just have to wait until inspiration hits me or I sit at my computer and refuse to let myself leave until a chapter is finished :).  
  
lise: I don't accept unsigned reviews because then you get the stupid people that are gutsy enough to flame you, but are too cowardly to sign their name to it.  
  
Pray tell, then what would be your concept? Seems quite boring if it was just one of them all by their lonesome.  
  
Don't start critezing my work, because it appears that you have *no* reviews for yours.  
  
Phoenix: *smiles* I'll manage the birth. Trust me.....  
  
Omega: Definitely! I'm not letting this story idea get away.  
  
Zamnii: Ok! I'm trying to write as fast as possible, but school is an issue.  
  
Tigerlily2001: Thanks! I'm trying to update as fast as I can.  
  
Unstoppable Writer of Dreams: *smiles* Thank you! Updates are coming a fast as time will allow them.  
  
Lady Louisa: No worries, this will be continuing.  
  
superhan: Oh dear, I don't want to be responsible for injuries. Don't send me any medical bills when you fall over laughing. ^-^ Thanks!  
  
rampage786: Don't worry, I've decided on a totally het fic. Fred and George are *not* together, nor are Ron and Snape. *shudder*  
  
wyrd sista187: This chapter? Oh, I've still got ideas for at least a few more chapters before the climax and the birth. Harry will be craving, actually all of them will be. Oyster-flavoured Every Flavour Beans? *shudders* Those sound worse than the sardine ones...... And yes, they will be going on a shopping trip this chapter!  
  
AllieDumbldore: Lol, I thought that the thought of Malfoy pregnant was amusing too! ^-^  
  
PowerLeca: Yay! You gave it a chance without judging it! I will get more chapters out as soon as possible.  
  
Darklady: Dumbledore said that they lost their virginity for one main reason, he doesn't pry into their sex lives. And it's most likely that they would have been their first time because they were only 17. (This excludes Professor Snape)  
  
Ok, in this chapter, you will see: Weight gain, classes, shopping, mood swings and last, but certainly not least, cravings! Watch as AuThOrEsS gets evil...........  
  
~*~  
  
*Two weeks later......*  
  
"Jesus, who knew that pregnancy did so much to your body??" Draco grumbled as he stepped out of the shower.  
  
He tried to pull on his pants, but it seemed that they had, *shrunk*.  
  
"Oh bloody hell, gaining weight already?"  
  
~*~  
  
*Over breakfast.....*  
  
"You guys, I think I need some new clothes. " Draco said.  
  
"Shopping? You've got to be kidding!" Fred exclaimed.  
  
"I'm with Fred, I hate shopping." George agreed.  
  
"Come on you guys, I need some new stuff as well." Harry remarked.  
  
"We can look for baby stuff too!" Ron sad excitedly among confused stares from the others.  
  
"Professor?" Draco said, looking at Snape.  
  
Snape grumbled without lowering his copy of the Daily Prophet.  
  
~*~  
  
*History of Magic class.......*  
  
"I could really go for a Chocolate Frog right about now...." Harry thought to himself during Professor Binns endless lecturing.  
  
"Oh god, I really want some cake...." Ron thought as he chewed on his quill to ease his hunger.  
  
"Uh oh, I could use a bathroom break......" Draco thought with a hand clamped over his mouth which elicited a few stares from other students.  
  
~*~  
  
"This is just *great*" Fred said sarcastically on the way to Hogsmeade.  
  
"And how would you pass the time otherwise? You have to stick with us, remember? Dumbledore's orders." Draco retorted.  
  
"Yeah well, who knew that being pregnant would turn you all into a bunch of girls" George said, mainly to Draco.  
  
"George, Malfoy liked shopping even *before* he was pregnant" Harry said, rolling his eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
*At Madam Mankin's........*  
  
"Wow, Mankin's even has a maternity wing!" Draco said excitedly.  
  
"Er - Malfoy? I'm pretty sure that stuff is supposed to be for girls" Ron said  
  
"Oh, it's all the same. They have black, green, blue....." Draco trailed off, sifting through a pile of robes.  
  
"Er - this is a little bit light for blue, do you reckon?" Fred said, holding up a robe in a very violent shade of baby blue.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Harry interrupted the conversation to hold up a robe which has an elastic section on the middle.  
  
"That's a robe that fits you all through your pregnancy. See the elastic part? It stretches as your middle grows." Draco replied while looking through a rack of dress shirts.  
  
"And that's all for Ask Draco......" George said under his breath.  
  
~*~  
  
*At the baby store......*  
  
Later on that afternoon, after a quick lunch break, our boys found a baby store; 'Wittle Witches', and Ron and Draco dragged them in to look at baby stuff.  
  
"You guys, isn't it a little hard to buy baby stuff if you don't know the gender of your baby?" Harry asked tentevely.  
  
"For now you just buy toys, crib accessories, things like that. Jesus, if you people didn't have me around to answer every little thing....." Draco said as they walked.  
  
"Ohhhhh!! How *cute*!" Ron said, holding up a little baby blanket with broomsticks on it.  
  
"Ooooo, this looks nice..." Snape said, picking up some cookware.  
  
"Hey, Quiddich themed stuff!" Harry said, rushing over to a bin of plush sniches.  
  
"Harry, what if you have a girl?" Fred asked.  
  
"Girls like Quiddich too, just look at Angelina!" Harry said while checking out a broom mobile.  
  
"You've got a point there, but what if your kid turns out like Lavender or Parvarti?" Fred replied.  
  
"Oh goodness, I hope that doesn't happen. I couldn't stand the giggling around me constantly" Harry said.  
  
"What about you Draco, how do you want your child to be like?" Ron asked while looking at cribs.  
  
"Pretty. Rich. Pureblood." Draco said simply.  
  
"Nice that you have such an open mind, Draco...." George said sarcastically.  
  
" I need to uphold the Malfoy family honour!" Draco cried.  
  
"Damn you guys, why are you being so mean to him?" Harry said defensively.  
  
"Harry.........are you standing up for Malfoy?" Ron said increderously.  
  
"Well, you guys are insulting him, and I don't think it's very nice!" Harry said, voice trembling.  
  
"See, Potter's actually having some taste now!" Draco said, putting his arm around Harry.  
  
The other three looked like they were about to lose 30 years of their life from shock.  
  
"Eeee! Aprons!!" Snape cried, which broke the temporary silence.  
  
"Are you sure that pregnancy isn't messing with your heads you guys? Harry, this is *Malfoy*. Malfoy, this is *Harry*. You have hated each other for years. Why stop now?" George said slowly.  
  
"Well, the point of us all staying with each other is to help us get along, why not try to?" Harry replied, Draco's arm still around him.  
  
"Definitely lost his mind...." Ron said, turning back to the cribs.  
  
"You guys are so mean!!" Harry said, and then ran off to the public rest room.  
  
~*~  
  
AN: And here's AuThOrEsS, desperately trying for even a hint of slash. *laughs* Sorry Snape doesn't have a bigger role in this chapter, he will in the next one with some of his purchases! Classes are boring, so they probably won't come up again until possibly near the end of the fic. Please review and tell me what you think! 


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